Simplifying

I am tired.

I am constantly overextending myself, taking on too many projects or challenges or goals, and then I'm never completing anything because there's just too much.

I have too much stuff.

I join too many challenges.

I start too many blogs.

I sign up for too many programs.

And, the root problem underneath it all? I'm searching, I think, for satisfaction. Something that will fulfill me in a complete way. And, when I don't find what I'm looking for, I give up on the thing.

Obviously, TRUE satisfaction can only be found in an intimate relationship with our Creator. So, why do I feel like that's out of reach? Why do I feel that's hard to obtain? What's holding me back?

The only thing that could possibly be holding me back is me. My own fears, laziness, complacency, and / or insecurities.

I'm reading a fantastic book right now, and it deals with "closing the gaps" in your career / finances / relationships / health / spiritual life... wherever you might find them. And, it's made me realize that I have a lot of "gaps". Out of a quiz of 100 questions (20 from each of the 5 areas listed above), I scored only 25%. :-(

So, God and I have some work to do. I need my life simplified. I can't keep going the way I am, because it's raising my stress level, which was already high to begin with. Something's gotta give, or I'm not gonna make it. :-?

ONLY GOD by Winsome Smith

[This was posted to a group I'm in, and I really thought it was powerful, so I'm sharing it here... it was supposedly taken from this website.]
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"The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)

We like to feel that we're capable, in control. We know our goals, our resources, and our limitations. We expect minor obstacles on the path, of course, but most of us face times in life when we feel quite self-sufficient.

Dare we name that self-sufficiency for what it is? When we attempt to live our lives on our own terms, we fall victim to some of the oldest lies. They go back to the Garden. We think God has withheld something that would make life more fulfilling, that our way is better, and that we can do life on our own. Pride tells us that we can live life on our own terms and in our own power.

Eventually we face problems and challenges that introduce a note of frustration into our lives. We are faced with a relationship gone sour, a loved one who is suffering, a need that is bigger than we can handle. We may enlist the help or concern of friends or family. Then we realize that they too are unable to make the problem go away. "It's impossible," we say, and we turn away in discouragement.

Is it possible, dear one, that the challenge you face is the key to a deep, profound joy, one rooted in intimacy with God Almighty? An overwhelming task, a difficult relationship, the burden on your heart can drive you to a deeper dependence on God Himself. Is there some impossibility facing you that you cannot manage on your own? Have you become tired of trying? Invite the God of the impossible into that place.

God alone can change hearts, renew minds, and restore relationships so that they mirror the Father's relationship with His Son. God alone can bring an abiding peace in hearts that have been set in opposition to Him and to one another. God alone can take unspeakable pain and turn it into a place of blessing. God alone can turn mourning to joy and desperation to a rock-solid hope. God alone can make us new.

Only God specializes in the impossible. Will you join with me today in asking God for what only He can do? Take time to talk to Him today about the impossibilities in your life and the lives of those you love.

Motivated ...by Grace?

I've often heard it say that being forgiven by God, and washed anew in His mercies, should prompt us to act out of gratitude toward Him... leaning on Him, trusting Him, obeying Him because of what He's done for us.

Well, why is it, then, that I can be overwhelmingly grateful for what God's done for me -- for ALL He's done for me -- and yet I still don't act out of that gratitude? I still don't trust, don't obey, and don't lean on Him. :-(

I want to! Believe me, I want to! I don't get it.

I don't want to have to go through even MORE than I have in order to get to the point where I act out of gratitude ... what I've been through hurt enough, thank you very much! :-?

"For I am His, and He is mine
bought with the precious blood
of Christ"
(from a song we sing in church)

I just want to have that close, trusting relationship with my Lord, but for whatever reason - despite that He's been ever-faithful to me - I still have difficulty in trusting Him. How do you just "let go"?

Prayers Needed...

Yesterday, Heather had surgery for the tumor in her brain....


Please pray that she will have a quick recovery, and that the surgery was successful. :-?

You can also sign up for the Prayer Chain that's been started on Heather's behalf.

MIA

Sorry that I've been missing in action (MIA), lately. I've been working through some really great books, but they're deep... I won't be able to articulate my thoughts until after I've finished them.

Just know that God is doing a mighty work in and through me. I'm learning a TON, and growing so much! I'm feeling so blessed!

I will post more when I feel ready... hang in there. ;o)

For Heather...

Beth wrote this post:

"...BooMama is hosting a day of love for Heather on April 18th. Heather was diagnosed with a brain tumor last week, she is scheduled to see a neurologist at the end of April at the Mayo Clinic, the number one neurosurgery hospital in the country. The goal is to help Heather and her family with as much of the expenses as possible."

While I don't really *know* Heather all that well (I've only been reading her blog for about a week or two now), I care deeply about her current circumstances, and I want to help her out in any way I can. While that can't be financially, I am sending her my sincerest prayers, and I am blogging this to try and find others who will be able to help her, too, either financially, or by joining me in prayer.
:-?

"It can be well with our souls,
even when it's not with our circumstances."
- Jennifer Rothschild

Let's Worship!

Found this video over on Heather's blog. I'd never heard the song before, but now I'm convinced that I'll have to get my church to sing it on Sunday mornings. ;o)

Never Let Go by Matt Redman

** For whatever reason, the video wasn't playing when I embedded it here, so I've taken that off, and just left you the link to go listen... ** :-(

And, here are a couple of other videos that I really loved!...

We Win by the David Crowder Band

Indescribable by Chris Tomlin


Let's worship in the SON-shine! ;o)

Enjoy!

Believing a lie

I discovered, a while back, that I feel unfulfilled. I lack true 'sastifaction'. Sure - I realize that I am VERY blessed to be where I am, and to have what I do. But something is still missing. And I know, now, what that is: it's faith.

Don't get me wrong! I have faith. But, it's weak. I believe in God, but I have trouble actively believing God. I constantly doubt Him: His love, His acceptance of me, His care, His plans for me...

It's all a lie! In her book, "Believing God", Beth Moore says:

"Satan, posing as the serpent, couldn't keep Eve from believing in God, so he did the next best thing. He baited her, tempting Eve not to believe God or trust His motives."

There are a multitude of verses, though, that refute these lies!

Jeremiah 31:3 - God loves me...
Romans 15:7 - ...and accepts me
Isaiah 43:10 - I am chosen by God
Jeremiah 29:11 - God has "good plans" for me
1 Peter 5:7 - God cares for me

So, if there are verses to help lay my doubts aside, why do I still have an issue here? It must be that I doubt... the Bible! :-(

Do I believe the Bible? Absolutely! I believe it's God-breathed and God-inspired TRUTH! But...

... Do I believe it is "truth" for me? Ah... herein lies the issue. I can so easily accept the Bible's truths as they apply to other people. But, when it comes to believing them for myself, I falter. I want to! Oh, how I want to! But, for some strange reason, I struggle to do so.

And, I believe I've discovered the "root" of all of my "issues"... I've done up two different "flow-charts" to explain...

This one is of my trouble "believing God"... the ROOT is my unbelief.

(click the picture to enlarge it)

This one shows the natural consequences, were I to be "SECURE" in God's love & acceptance of me! :o)

(click the picture to enlarge it)

See the HUGE difference?? It's amazing!

In the first picture/chart, it's a self-defeating cycle... it should almost be in a circle, as it just repeats on itself.

But in the second picture/chart, there's a natural outflow of love that just keeps going forward... doesn't get "stuck" somewhere along the way. ;o)

I am praying for a heart change... for God to allow me to accept that His Word is true, even for me (maybe *especially* for me!), and for God to help me feel secure in His love & acceptance of me.

Getting Free... (more on Thoughts)

In my "Breaking Free" Bible study homework, last night, I was studying about a "steadfast mind", and how we are to "take every thought captive" to Christ & His power. And, Beth shared the steps we need to take to "get free"!

1. Recognize the captor.


2. Confess sin to God.


3. Tear down the lies.


4. Put up the Truth.


5. Take every thought captive.

Here are some quotes from the study...

p.188 - "captivating thoughts are controlling thoughts -- things you find yourself meditating on too often. Focusing thoughts."

p.189 - "Taking thoughts captive to Christ doesn't mean we never have the thought again. It means we learn to 'think the thought' as it relates to Christ and who we are in Him."

p.191 - "Confession means coming to the point of saying the same thing God says about any specific matter."

p.193 - "The demolition of strongholds really begins when we expose and tear down the lies fueling our strongholds."

p.194 - "...if you don't listen to God and obey in the early stages, the longer you wait, the less discernment and strength you have."

p.194 - "If you know a stronghold exists somewhere in your life...yet you cannot identify the lies, you are still a captive."

p.195 - "...the walls of your mind will never stay bare...Once we tear down the lies, we have to re-wallpaper with the Truth or the enemy will happily supply a new roll of wallpaper [for our 'prison']."

p.195 - "God will not release us from anything that has enslaved us until we've come to the mind of Christ in the matter... Once the mind of Christ has taken over, the power of the stronghold is broken and the person and situation will finally begin to evacuate the premises."

p.197 - "Before we can get any controlling thoughts out of our minds, they must become Christ-controlled thoughts while still in our minds."

Steps for getting free...

1. Search God's Word for Scriptures. Find Scriptures that speak the mind of God to your specific stronghold.

- compile a list of Scriptures. Keep looking until you find them. Not just those that rebuke, but also those that speak of God's unfailing love & forgiveness to you.

2. Write these Scriptures on note cards.

- best way to compile them is to use spiral-bound note cards... call them "Truth cards".

3. Take these Truth Cards wherever you go.

- "be prepared to fight for your freedom with some radical choices...expect the battle to heat up when you start tearing down the lies!"

4. Avoid as many forms of deception as possible.

- "flood your mind primarily with truth and secondarily with materials that line up with truth... we must exercise radical caution when we're escaping."

More quotes...

p.198 - "Our thought life is something we'll work on for the rest of our lives."

p.199 - "When we do not make the deliberate choice to think according to the Spirit, we tend to default to the 'flesh'."

p.199 - "When the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin, the purpose is for life & peace."

p.200 - "The more we feed the Spirit of God within us and yield to His control, the more His presence will fill and satiate us with life and peace."


My biggest "stronghold" is currently my overeating & weight issues. And, the cool thing is, I already have an "armory" of verses (both "rebuking" and "uplifting") to combat the lies and replace them with Truth! God has given me many over the last year and a half. :o)

Fears...

In her "Believing God" book, Beth Moore writes:

"I was a victim, all right -- a victim to my own erroneous belief system. Satan quickly detected my fears and preyed on them, doing everything he could to confirm what I believed... a huge reason why we must believe we ARE who God says we are, and we can do all things through Christ!"

So, what are my fears? If I can get them out in the open, and pray against them -- laying them at Jesus' feet because "perfect Love (God) casts out fear" -- then I can overcome them! I can rid myself of that which Satan would love to use against me!

I'm afraid...

- of gaining back whatever weight I release
- of falling away from this closeness with God
- of diabetes and heart troubles
- of developing some sort of food intolerance/allergy that
would cause me to have to restrict my food choices
- of never fitting back into the clothes I bought when I
released all the weight the first time
- of not succeeding with this... or not as much as I'd like to
- of being prideful, and trying to steal the credit away from God
- of getting too *much* attention
- of the emotional things God might bring up for me to work on
- of not being able to keep practicing what I learn (of getting
lazy and returning to my old ways... again)
- of being hypocritical
- of my husband's jealousy
- of others spewing "diet speak" at me, and causing me to stumble

I'm sure there's more... but this list was getting kinda long. ;-P

I need to learn to "let go and let God"... just release all this to Him, and let Him show me that these don't have to be my *reality*. I'm a "Spirit critter" in a human body, not a human in a "Spirit body". ;o) "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!"

I also need to learn to believe God! (which I'm working on!) I need to believe that...

* God is who He says He is
* God can do what He says He can do
* I am who God says I am
* I can do all things through Christ
* God's Word is alive and active in me!

[from Beth Moore's "Believing God"]

This morning, in the TW_Support group, a friend said something powerful... She said that we need to stop saying that we're going to lose weight, and "stop talking about the latest & greatest methods for eating, and just get quiet and listen and do."

She also said that we need to start seeking God's answers to our questions FIRST, instead of always running to our group friends... much as they could give us a quicker answer, it may not always be the answer God would've given us, had we turned to Him in the first place.

I really thought this was well-spoken, and I've written it down so that I'll remember it. I want to remember to turn to God first. That's what He's been trying to teach me this year: "Put ME first, before everything else!" (see Matthew 6:33)

Starting out with TW, I didn't do that. But, this time I'm making a point to make God my first priority... my "protos" (Greek for "priority").

Knowledge Overflow!

God is just washing me in Truth, lately! I'm so blown away!

This past week, in my "Breaking Free" (Beth Moore) Bible study homework, I learned all about God's unfailing love. And, it hit me as a breath of fresh air! I am starting to begin to really believe that God does love me! :o) The real "kicker" was when Beth said that refusing to believe God loves us is a "slap in the face" to Him... because we're taking His Word and basically saying, "Yeah right... that's not true." :-O

She also said something that I'm treasuring:
"Belief is NOT a feeling; it's a CHOICE."

Whoa. That just got me.

So often I complain to God saying, "But I just don't *feel* it... I don't *feel* like I love You, though I desperately WANT to!" Here He's saying, "You don't have to feel it... just CHOOSE to believe it!"

The same thing works for issues of trust, I'm sure. We may not FEEL like we can trust God, but if we just CHOOSE to trust Him, overriding our feelings, we will be walking in obedience, and we'll be blessed for it! Whoohoo!

Today I started rereading the Thin Within book. God showed me that He wants me to go back through it, only this time He wants me to take notes as I read. I'm to jot down what stands out for me, and my feelings about those particular passages. So, I've done the Introduction and Chapter One already. And, God's already revealed some things to me!

For instance, on page xiv of the book it says, "You will learn to make food choices based not only on what tastes good, but on what is excellent in the eyes of God." In my first go-'round with TW, I chose to really focus on the "everything is permissible" part of 1 Corinthians 6:12. I also completely ignored the "but not everything is beneficial" part.

Also, sort of related to the previous "revelation", there was one related to Key #5: "Eat and drink the food & beverages my body enjoys". In the beginning of following TW, I would choose the food and beverages that my MIND enjoyed, but ignored how those foods made my body feel afterward. I dabbled in being conscious of how foods made me feel briefly, about 7 months ago. But, I let that go, as I did with almost all of the rest of the principles.

And the last example would be where the TW book warns not to let what they say become a set of "rules" for us to follow, by which we judge ourselves 'good' or 'bad'. Well, I did just that! I turned TW into another "diet", rigidly adhering to the principles, and scorning anyone's "advice" to the contrary. As a result, I maybe ate too little at times, and I wasn't really being "intuitive". I wasn't listening to my body -- I was listening to "rules".

So, a fresh start today! I've observed... now I need to "correct". Or, better yet, how about we let GOD "correct". ;o)

Envy...

Lord -- help me not to feel so envious when I hear of others losing weight ... succeeding with the very program I'm *supposed* to be diligently following. I get so depressed when I hear them post of their successes! But, I'm truly happy for them, too!

... I just wish I had something positive to post as well, that's all. It's been a long time. :-(

Help me to be patient, and to rejoice with my fellow sisters in their progress. :-?

Amen.

I'm Believing God!

...well, not yet. But, I'm going to!

I've begun reading Beth Moore's book, "Believing God", with some online friends, and it's amazing -- as are all of Beth's books (that I've read, anyway). ;o)

I have always had "trust issues". Why, I'm not sure. This is God we're talking about, after all! I *should* trust Him! He's proven Himself faithful to me, over and over in my life.

So, what's the problem, then? I honestly don't know.

I suppose it could be that I view God as another "human", most times. Not purposely, but that's how my brain tends to view Him... as someone capable of disappointing me, as so many others in my life have done. Or, as someone who'll abandon me.

I've always had this funky, distorted view that God reacts to my behaviour... If I do good things, God blesses me; if I do bad things, God makes my life a living disaster! So, when things go wrong in my life (as they're often prone to do), I tend to think I must've upset God, and I'm being punished for something. :-?

Whatever gave me this idea?

As I was reading my One-Year Bible the other day (or, perhaps it was while doing my Bible study homework: "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore), I came across a passage that basically said that, looking at life this way (punished for bad; blessed for good) is a very selfish thing. What makes us think the world revolves around us like that? Then it went on to explain that God doesn't do that... He doesn't "punish" for any little thing, or "bless" for trivial things.

(I don't feel like I'm explaining this right, and I wish I knew where I'd read this -- I'll have to look it up and re-write this later! LOL)

Sure, God *does* discipline us when we've gone against His will. But, not just for merely straying from the intended path.

And, yes, God *does* bless us... but, it's usually when we've walked obediently with Him.

I pray that God will change my view of Him -- make it so that I see Him for who He really is... GOD! (and, in the "Believing God" study, the first "faith statement" is that I believe "God is who He says He is").

God said 'No'

God works in funny ways... He makes me laugh!

I'd asked Him to show me whether or not I should remain a member of that group I'd joined the other day (the one where the group owner was a WDW leader). And, the next thing you know, my computer crashes again! LOL
(mind you, the thing crashing again was NOT funny at the time!)

Also, I flipped open my Bible -randomly- and landed in the book of 2 John. Prior to opening up the book, though, I'd asked God for a word about this group -- whether or not I should stick with it. Well, the book of 2 John is all about staying clear of "false teachers", and not even communing with them, because then it's like you're condoning their behaviour! LOL

Okay... so there's 2 "hints" that NO, I should not remain a member of the group I joined.

So, I promised God that, if He'd get my computer back up and running (via my tech-savvy hubby), I'd immediately unsubscribe from the group... He did, and so I did. ;o)

But, I'm anxious for a place to talk with others about a "heart change"... about a "renewed mind" in conjunction with Christian weight loss (more specifically, the hunger-fullness method of weight loss). So, feeling there wasn't anything ELSE I could do, I started up my own group! (Renewed Minds)

Now, whether or not it'll last, that's another story. I often get these great ideas for groups, so I'll start them up, but then I don't have a lot to say (I'm usually expecting the others to have something to say that I can respond to), and the other group members remain silent, so I end up having to shut the group down. I'm hoping I won't have to do that with this one, but time will tell.

Insights...

From the reading, online, I've been doing lately (via groups, blogs, etc), God's showed me a few things:

- I'm still making this weight-loss journey about me... it should be about God, and my relationship with Him... about what HE'S doing in my life!

- I'm still "walking the path of MY performance"... still trying to do things MY way (which NEVER works, anyway!).

- I'm making plans (setting goals) without consulting God, and then hoping He'll bless them ... should be asking what HE wants me to do, and then being obedient!

- I'm still seeking the "world's" solutions, instead of going to my "Source" (God).

This last one came from reading a lady's story in an e-group I joined last night. She talked of how she'd bought this great hairdryer, and how it had an attachment. Well, the attachment got broken, and so the lady went to the store where she'd purchased it, and tried to get a replacement. The store kept "forgetting" to call and try to help her out. Finally, after trying *everything* else, the lady thought to call the manufacturer! She called the "maker" of the product, instead of the "seller"... And, this led her to see that, in her spiritual life, she often goes to the "seller" for a solution, instead of straight to the "Maker" (God)... the "Source". ;o)

I really liked this analogy! Especially since I could soooo relate! ;-P

Anyway. I'm a little cautious of the new group I joined. Through reading the old messages, and some of their linked articles, I've discovered that the group's owner is a WeighDown Workshop leader. The group is great because it talks all about the hunger-fullness method, but I'm afraid to be inundated with WD "theology", and be "duped" like I was when I first read the WD book. I had thought it was "Christian", since it was peppered with Bible verses, etc. But, little red flags had been going off in my mind as I read it, saying that something wasn't quite "right".

So far, the group seems "fine"... the messages are MAINLY just devotionals written by author Neil T. Anderson. I trust his writings.

But I've prayed and asked God to make it very clear to me whether or not I should remain as a member there. I will follow HIS leading. ;o)

Letting God Lead

Ha ha! God is certainly speaking to me about a LOT of issues! But, I'm hearing them! ;o)

This time, it's about letting Him lead. Remember, yesterday, how I quoted "Bruce & Stan" about how we try to make our plans without consulting God, and then ask His blessing on our plans AFTERWARD?

Well, today, I was doing my Beth Moore, "BREAKING FREE", Bible study homework, and it was about God's "Daily Rule". In the third paragraph, Beth says, "For years I asked God to bless what I did. Talk about the clay trying to spin the Potter!" And, I just about laughed out loud!

Loud and Clear, God! Loud & clear! LOL :-P

Beth goes on to say that we are "wise & blessed to learn to walk with God instead of begging Him to walk with us".

This is because God knows the path He planned out for us -- and our knowledge of said path is "little more than hoped-for theories". God is Sovereign. He knows what will happen before it does, so we're wise to trust HIS leading.

So often I try to make my plans, and then ask God to bless them. And, I've been doing just that with my weight loss. I keep making up challenges for myself, or following other peoples' challenges, and then I ask God to "bless me" in my efforts. But, God wants me to ask HIM what HIS ideas are... where HE wants me to go... how HE wants me to go about things! And, if I choose to go with HIS ideas, then I will be blessed just for being obedient.

This one is gonna take a whole lot of God's strength! ;o)

"'Not by might, nor by power,
but by My Spirit,'
says the Lord."
~ Zechariah 4:6

More On Thoughts...

Well, it seems like God wants me to think on this verse, as I've come across reference to it (or, something similar) TWICE now, today! LOL

I like the way The Message version puts it:

[3-6]The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

Take note that it says EVERY thought... not just "some" thoughts. So that means that thoughts about eating are included here! So often, when this verse is referenced, it's to things like immorality, and promiscuity, and things like that. The "big sins". But, God says "overindulging" is a sin, too! Not in so many words, of course, but...

Ephesians 5:5b says, "...the greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of this world."

And, of course, there's gluttony...

Like I said in an earlier post, Satan wants us to believe that our overeating is "no big deal"... that God doesn't really care if we overeat. But, that's a LIE! Overeating/gluttony (and, when I say this, I'm thinking *deliberate* overeating... choosing to "plug our ears" before "jumping into that pit") is a sin! And, we're to *hate* sin!... as my friend, Heidi, says, we're not just to "avoid" it, but to all-out DETEST sin!

I am praying that I will get to the point where I see overeating as the sin it is, and that I will hate it -- that I will confess, repent, and be able to turn away from it for good!

In her E-newsletter today, author Susan May Warren, talked about being careful of what we expose ourselves to: television shows, news programs, music, books... these can lead us to thoughts that aren't in line with Biblical principles.

My mother always used to like to say, "Garbage in, garbage out." She said that what we allow into our heads/minds is what's going to show itself in our behavior/words later on.

In an online excerpt of the book I mentioned in my last post, "Every Thought Captive", Proverbs 4:23 is quoted. It says:

"Above all else, guard your heart,
for it influences everything else in your life."

And, this is what it had to say about that verse:

"Every act, whether beautiful or heinous, starts in the mind. Every charitable act begins with a loving thought, and every sin grows out of a distorted thought. We sin, in large part, because we hold on to and live out of toxic beliefs. So whether we are aware of the depths and brokenness of our thoughts or not, they are very real, and they influence us more than we even know."

So, my challenge to myself for the next week is going to be to watch my thoughts -- and to watch what I allow to *influence* my thoughts. And, if when I find any negative thoughts, or thoughts that disagree with God's Word, I'm going to "take them captive" and lay them at His feet. ;o)

I challenge you to do the same!

Our Weapons ... Every Thought Captive

Lundie, over at FaithLifts, has posted a fantastic article on the "unearthly" weapons we use to wage war on the spiritual front, and our need to "take every thought captive". ;o)

Check it out!

I'll post more of my thoughts on this verse soon, too! ;-)

<>< ~ <>< ~ <>< ~ <>< ~ <><

Every Thought Captive: Battling the Toxic Beliefs that Separate Us from the Life We Crave By Jerusha Clark

This is a book I put on my wishlist a short while back... now I think I'd like to get it sooner (will move it up on my wishlist), thanks to Lundie's article! :-D

(click on the book's cover to read it's description)

Some Things I've Been Learning ... Part Three

Yes, I'm chatty today. ;-P

In trying to learn that God loves me unconditionally, and just as I am, I decided to "re-write" the words to a country song by Martina McBride... Here it is, for your enjoyment! ;-P

THE WAY THAT I AM
by Martina McBride

Don't need no copy of old magazines
Don't need to dress like no beauty queen
High heels or sneakers, He don't give a darn
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am

He never tells me I'm not good enough
Just gives me unconditional love!
He loves me tender, He loves me mad
He loves me silly, and He loves me sad

CHORUS:
He thinks I'm pretty, He thinks I'm smart
He likes my nerve, and He loves my heart
He's always sayin' He's my biggest fan
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am

When there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by
Come in like a lion, go out like a Lamb
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am
My JESUS loves me just the way that I am

(Chorus - repeat 2x)

---

Another thing that's been helpful is the page I printed out and hung beside my bed... it's from my Bible, and it lists my "Identity in Christ":

Romans 3:24.... I am justified (declared "righteous")
Romans 8:1.... No condemnation awaits me.
Romans 8:2.... I am set free from the power of sin that leads to death.
1 Corinthians 1:2.... I am sanctified (made holy) in Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:30.... I am pure and holy in Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:22.... I will be given new life at the resurrection.
2 Corinthians 5:17.... I am a new Creation!
2 Corinthians 5:21.... I am made right with God.
Galatians 3:28.... I am one in Christ with all other believers.
Ephesians 1:3.... I am blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
Ephesians 1:4.... I am holy and without fault.
Ephesians 1:5,6.... I am adopted as God's child.
Ephesians 1:7.... My sin is taken away, and I am forgiven.
Ephesians 1:10,11.... I will be brought under Christ's authority.
Ephesians 1:13.... I am identified as belonging to God by the Holy Spirit.
Ephesians 2:6.... I have been raised up to sit with Christ in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 2:10.... I am God's masterpiece.
Ephesians 2:13.... I have been brought near to God.
Ephesians 3:6.... I share in the promise of blessings through Christ.
Ephesians 3:12.... I can come boldly and confidently into God's presence.
Ephesians 5:29,30.... I am a member of Christ's body, the church.
Colossians 2:10.... I am made complete in Christ.
Colossians 2:11.... I am set free from my sinful nature.
2 Timothy 2:10.... I will have eternal glory.

[Taken from pg. 2001 of my NLT Life Application Study Bible]

Some Things I've Been Learning... Part Two

Okay... I couldn't wait. I need to write more NOW! LOL

Another big thing God has been impressing upon my heart is the fact that I don't truly feel His unconditional love. I come from a household where love was very conditional -- or, so it seemed. I was always striving to be "good enough" (and this is is still a major sore spot for me!).

My dad left us when I was 9 years old... we still got to seem him on a regular basis, but I've lived with insecurity and "abandonment issues" for 20 years now. :-? It's hard for me to believe in a love that is unchanging.

Don't get me wrong -- I do believe in God's unchanging love, but I tend to go through periods of doubt. It's like that verse in the Gospel of Mark where the father says, "I do believe -- help, Thou, my unbelief!"

Our church secretary said it perfectly... "So many people go to Bible studies, and sit in the pews every Sunday listening to sermons, and they have the knowledge, in their heads, that God loves them... but they don't have the HEART-knowledge. They haven't internalized it."

This is me.

After hearing her say this, I realized that I need to work on this. I need to pray for God to remove whatever "walls" seem to be standing in the way of this knowledge getting from my head to my heart. So, I sought out a Christian bookseller friend, and asked for recommendations, and then I bought John Ortberg's book, "Love Beyond Reason". I'm in the process of reading it. ;o)

Since I was a little girl, I've been brought up in the Christian faith. I've always gone to church, and I've gone to Sunday School, and I've had Christian family spouting theology at me, and I've even been through Christian elementary- and high-schools! So, it's not like I don't KNOW this stuff! LOL. But, it's never gotten through to my heart. I'm baffled by this, and I'm curious as to how it couldn't get through.

But, anyway. That's just one more thing that God's got to work on with me. :-?

In Beth Moore's new book, "Get Out of That Pit!", (and, yes, I'll be quoting her a lot, as she's really grown my faith through the studies of her's that I've done in the last few years!) she wrote:

"...if we're willing to let truth speak louder than our feelings, and long enough that our feelings finally agree, we can be far more than okay. We can be delivered..."

This was so powerful that it brought tears to my eyes. This is just the kind of thing -- the kind of TRUTH -- that I needed to hear someone say. That it's okay to "fake it 'til you make it"! LOL :-?

She also says (in "Breaking Free"):

"You can CHOOSE to submit to Christ's authority out of belief and obedience rather than emotion."

Again, she encourages the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy! LOL And, I think you can. I think that, if you do a thing long enough, it may be hard & unnatural at first, but eventually it becomes second-nature to you. You can do it without giving it a second thought.

Now, it's just a matter of actually DOING these things, instead of just talking about them, or thinking about them!

Speaking of doing things until they become second-nature, God has also told me lately that I can lean on Him and He will teach me how to change my responses. When I'm tempted to overeat, I don't have to act the same way I've always done. I can ask God for a NEW response! And, eventually, if I implement these "new responses" for long enough, I'll have formed new habits. ;o)

Some Things I've Been Learning ... Part One

An online friend asked me to share what God's been teaching me lately, so here is my attempt at telling that tale... ;o)

At the beginning of this year, God seemed to be telling me -- loud and clear -- that I needed to put my focus on putting Him first in EVERY aspect of my life. He told this to me through things I read in books, through my Sunday School class, through my Bible study homework, and through friends online ... like I said, He was getting the message through to me LOUD & CLEAR! :-P LOL

The first thing I did was to make a promise to myself to read through the Bible in one year. I bought myself a One-Year Bible (daily readings) in The Message version by Eugene Peterson. So far, I'm really enjoying it, and I've stuck with it. PTL!

I also decided to make sure God was first in my days. BUT, I'm not a morning person. I've tried, several times, to get myself up before my family in order to do my morning "quiet time", but it never seems to work. I'm not fully awake, and therefore I don't absorb what I'm reading. I'm still half-asleep. :-? So, what HAS worked for me is to get up, get everyone fed & dressed and out the door (hubby to work, kids to school), and then come home and put on the kettle. Then I sit down to do my quiet time. The great thing about this is, my "first morning craziness" is already done, so my mind doesn't have to keep wandering off to "all I have to do today", and the phone doesn't ring that early in the morning (usually!). So, it's the perfect time. I've told myself "no computer!" until I've had my quiet time with God. ;o) So far, so good. I also try to get in my Bible study homework at this time.

Next, God instructed me to make a "priorities" list... And, He reminded me of something I'd learned back in elementary school. It's the acronym, "J.O.Y" which stands for Jesus, Others, You. :o) You're to put Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. So, I made out a list of what I needed to do: what Jesus would want from me, what my husband and kids need from me, and what I need from myself. I also set out a list of things that HAD to be done on a weekly basis (housecleaning, exercise, etc). I made these lists, and I posted them where I see them daily.

I also re-joined the FLYLady's program, and have been using it to keep my house in order. As of this moment, my kitchen sink is shiny, and my living room is tidy. We're all happier when I keep it this way!
;-P

Okay... So putting God first was numero uno...

The next thing God has been teaching me is about authority / stubborness / rebellion / guidance. Okay, so that's 4 things... but, let me explain.

I have an "authority problem" ... I hate being told what to do! If someone tries, I usually end up doing the opposite, or giving them the silent treatment. (Talk about childish, eh?) I come from a long line of stubborn people, so that "label" has been on me for years. My rebelliousness has gotten me into a LOT of trouble, and it frustrates me to no end. I constantly sabotage myself. I have the best of intentions, but it all seems to go flying out the window. :-(

I also have a "trust" problem. Much as I know, in my head, that God is faithful (and, goodness knows, He's proved Himself time & again in my life!), I still don't fully trust Him... I still seemingly refuse to "submit" everything to His control. And, this is even AFTER I've seen that MY WAY does NOT work out well! EVER!

While doing my Bible study homework a while back (Beth Moore's Breaking Free), I came across this verse:

"As long as the King
sought guidance from the Lord,
God gave him success."

And, that goes back to putting God FIRST.... If we're seeking God first, we'll be asking Him for guidance. And, if we're doing THAT, He'll "give us success", just as He did for King Uzziah.

A neat thing I read, just yesterday, fits in here, too! It was in my "Keeping God in the Small Stuff" book (by "Bruce & Stan"):

"Teenagers quickly learn that it is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. If they ask for permission first, their request may be denied. So they go ahead and do what they want, and they are later prepared to say: 'I'm sorry. I didn't know I shouldn't have done that.'

If we are honest with ourselves, we often take the same approach with God. We make our plans for what we want, and we leave God totally out of the planning process. After all of the choices have been made, then we involve God by asking Him to "bless" what we have already decided to do.

Don't treat God like a magic wand that you wave over your plans. Involve Him in the decisions of your life at the very beginning. Let Him direct you (instead of the other way around)."

This was really convicting for me. I'm just like that teenager... As Beth Moore says in her new book, "Get Out of That Pit!", "We want what we want. So we stick our fingers in our ears before we jump in [the pit]".

We --I-- have an "authority problem". :-?

This is so much easier SAID than DONE, though! (involving God in the decision-making process). At least for me. I still want to do it my way, even though "my way" has proven disastrous time & time & time again!

This is a lesson that God is going to be working on with me for quite some time, I'm sure. :-?

But, it comes to the last point I want to make for this post -- one other thing God's been showing me. And, that's that I need to have a renewed mind.

Beth Moore says, in her "Breaking Free" study:

"God desires to change us from the inside out ~ renewing our minds, starving our self-destructive tendencies, and teaching us to form new habits. These results come ONLY to those who learn to walk all over again, this time with their DELIVERER."

She also says:

"RENEWED MINDS and POSITIVE HABITS are a necessity to lives pressing onward in victory." (emphasis, mine)

Just the other day, I was listening to a podcast about Gluttony. And, it talked about how we tend to believe the lie that our weight is not a "big deal" to God. This is what Satan wants us to believe! But, God cares about our details. So I need to see my overeating for what it is: an idol in my life -- a "sin". I need to be sorrowfully repentant about it, so that I will be able to confess it to God, turn from it, and not want to return! Until this happens, I'm not going to be able to get free from this "pit" I've found myself in. I'm going to keep going in circles in my attempts to overcome my overeating issues.

This is the "big one"... it's not quite sunk in, yet. I'm still processing it. But, it's potent, and I know that --once it hits me in full-- it's going to be SERIOUSLY life-changing! I am praying (HARD!) for this one to really get down deep. I want a heart change... I want a "renewed mind".

Oh, Lord, may it be so!

....to be continued....

Seeking Deliverance

I have a million blogs already, but I really felt like I should start a new one to chronicle how God is delivering me from my "pit(s)". Yes, I've recently read Beth Moore's newest book, "Get Out of That Pit!: Straight Talk About God's Deliverance", and I was just blown away.

Beth's straight-talk is just that ... she doesn't mince words, or pussy-foot around issues. She just gets real honest with you about what you need to do to get free from your "pit"... from captivity. In all honesty, YOU (and I) can't do a single thing about it ... we cannot save ourselves from our pits! Only God can do that! But, we can "reach up, and take hold" when God reaches down to rescue us. And, He's oh-so-willing to do so... we just have to "cry out, confess, and consent".

So, this blog is about my heart-overhaul. It's about what God is / has been doing in my life, and about how He's renewing my mind, and freeing me from my self-destructive (rebellious) tendencies. Soon I'll have my feet firmly planted on a Rock, and I'll be walking in complete FREEDOM by the side of my Lord & Savior. :o)

Walk with me?