At the beginning of this year, God seemed to be telling me -- loud and clear -- that I needed to put my focus on putting Him first in EVERY aspect of my life. He told this to me through things I read in books, through my Sunday School class, through my Bible study homework, and through friends online ... like I said, He was getting the message through to me LOUD & CLEAR! :-P LOL
The first thing I did was to make a promise to myself to read through the Bible in one year. I bought myself a One-Year Bible (daily readings) in The Message version by Eugene Peterson. So far, I'm really enjoying it, and I've stuck with it. PTL!
I also decided to make sure God was first in my days. BUT, I'm not a morning person. I've tried, several times, to get myself up before my family in order to do my morning "quiet time", but it never seems to work. I'm not fully awake, and therefore I don't absorb what I'm reading. I'm still half-asleep. :-? So, what HAS worked for me is to get up, get everyone fed & dressed and out the door (hubby to work, kids to school), and then come home and put on the kettle. Then I sit down to do my quiet time. The great thing about this is, my "first morning craziness" is already done, so my mind doesn't have to keep wandering off to "all I have to do today", and the phone doesn't ring that early in the morning (usually!). So, it's the perfect time. I've told myself "no computer!" until I've had my quiet time with God. ;o) So far, so good. I also try to get in my Bible study homework at this time.
Next, God instructed me to make a "priorities" list... And, He reminded me of something I'd learned back in elementary school. It's the acronym, "J.O.Y" which stands for Jesus, Others, You. :o) You're to put Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. So, I made out a list of what I needed to do: what Jesus would want from me, what my husband and kids need from me, and what I need from myself. I also set out a list of things that HAD to be done on a weekly basis (housecleaning, exercise, etc). I made these lists, and I posted them where I see them daily.
I also re-joined the FLYLady's program, and have been using it to keep my house in order. As of this moment, my kitchen sink is shiny, and my living room is tidy. We're all happier when I keep it this way!
;-P
Okay... So putting God first was numero uno...
The next thing God has been teaching me is about authority / stubborness / rebellion / guidance. Okay, so that's 4 things... but, let me explain.
I have an "authority problem" ... I hate being told what to do! If someone tries, I usually end up doing the opposite, or giving them the silent treatment. (Talk about childish, eh?) I come from a long line of stubborn people, so that "label" has been on me for years. My rebelliousness has gotten me into a LOT of trouble, and it frustrates me to no end. I constantly sabotage myself. I have the best of intentions, but it all seems to go flying out the window. :-(
I also have a "trust" problem. Much as I know, in my head, that God is faithful (and, goodness knows, He's proved Himself time & again in my life!), I still don't fully trust Him... I still seemingly refuse to "submit" everything to His control. And, this is even AFTER I've seen that MY WAY does NOT work out well! EVER!
While doing my Bible study homework a while back (Beth Moore's Breaking Free), I came across this verse:
sought guidance from the Lord,
God gave him success."
And, that goes back to putting God FIRST.... If we're seeking God first, we'll be asking Him for guidance. And, if we're doing THAT, He'll "give us success", just as He did for King Uzziah.
A neat thing I read, just yesterday, fits in here, too! It was in my "Keeping God in the Small Stuff" book (by "Bruce & Stan"):
"Teenagers quickly learn that it is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. If they ask for permission first, their request may be denied. So they go ahead and do what they want, and they are later prepared to say: 'I'm sorry. I didn't know I shouldn't have done that.'
If we are honest with ourselves, we often take the same approach with God. We make our plans for what we want, and we leave God totally out of the planning process. After all of the choices have been made, then we involve God by asking Him to "bless" what we have already decided to do.
Don't treat God like a magic wand that you wave over your plans. Involve Him in the decisions of your life at the very beginning. Let Him direct you (instead of the other way around)."
This was really convicting for me. I'm just like that teenager... As Beth Moore says in her new book, "Get Out of That Pit!", "We want what we want. So we stick our fingers in our ears before we jump in [the pit]".
We --I-- have an "authority problem". :-?
This is so much easier SAID than DONE, though! (involving God in the decision-making process). At least for me. I still want to do it my way, even though "my way" has proven disastrous time & time & time again!
This is a lesson that God is going to be working on with me for quite some time, I'm sure. :-?
But, it comes to the last point I want to make for this post -- one other thing God's been showing me. And, that's that I need to have a renewed mind.
Beth Moore says, in her "Breaking Free" study:
"God desires to change us from the inside out ~ renewing our minds, starving our self-destructive tendencies, and teaching us to form new habits. These results come ONLY to those who learn to walk all over again, this time with their DELIVERER."
She also says:
"RENEWED MINDS and POSITIVE HABITS are a necessity to lives pressing onward in victory." (emphasis, mine)
Just the other day, I was listening to a podcast about Gluttony. And, it talked about how we tend to believe the lie that our weight is not a "big deal" to God. This is what Satan wants us to believe! But, God cares about our details. So I need to see my overeating for what it is: an idol in my life -- a "sin". I need to be sorrowfully repentant about it, so that I will be able to confess it to God, turn from it, and not want to return! Until this happens, I'm not going to be able to get free from this "pit" I've found myself in. I'm going to keep going in circles in my attempts to overcome my overeating issues.
This is the "big one"... it's not quite sunk in, yet. I'm still processing it. But, it's potent, and I know that --once it hits me in full-- it's going to be SERIOUSLY life-changing! I am praying (HARD!) for this one to really get down deep. I want a heart change... I want a "renewed mind".
Oh, Lord, may it be so!
....to be continued....
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