Motivated ...by Grace?

I've often heard it say that being forgiven by God, and washed anew in His mercies, should prompt us to act out of gratitude toward Him... leaning on Him, trusting Him, obeying Him because of what He's done for us.

Well, why is it, then, that I can be overwhelmingly grateful for what God's done for me -- for ALL He's done for me -- and yet I still don't act out of that gratitude? I still don't trust, don't obey, and don't lean on Him. :-(

I want to! Believe me, I want to! I don't get it.

I don't want to have to go through even MORE than I have in order to get to the point where I act out of gratitude ... what I've been through hurt enough, thank you very much! :-?

"For I am His, and He is mine
bought with the precious blood
of Christ"
(from a song we sing in church)

I just want to have that close, trusting relationship with my Lord, but for whatever reason - despite that He's been ever-faithful to me - I still have difficulty in trusting Him. How do you just "let go"?