Believing a lie

I discovered, a while back, that I feel unfulfilled. I lack true 'sastifaction'. Sure - I realize that I am VERY blessed to be where I am, and to have what I do. But something is still missing. And I know, now, what that is: it's faith.

Don't get me wrong! I have faith. But, it's weak. I believe in God, but I have trouble actively believing God. I constantly doubt Him: His love, His acceptance of me, His care, His plans for me...

It's all a lie! In her book, "Believing God", Beth Moore says:

"Satan, posing as the serpent, couldn't keep Eve from believing in God, so he did the next best thing. He baited her, tempting Eve not to believe God or trust His motives."

There are a multitude of verses, though, that refute these lies!

Jeremiah 31:3 - God loves me...
Romans 15:7 - ...and accepts me
Isaiah 43:10 - I am chosen by God
Jeremiah 29:11 - God has "good plans" for me
1 Peter 5:7 - God cares for me

So, if there are verses to help lay my doubts aside, why do I still have an issue here? It must be that I doubt... the Bible! :-(

Do I believe the Bible? Absolutely! I believe it's God-breathed and God-inspired TRUTH! But...

... Do I believe it is "truth" for me? Ah... herein lies the issue. I can so easily accept the Bible's truths as they apply to other people. But, when it comes to believing them for myself, I falter. I want to! Oh, how I want to! But, for some strange reason, I struggle to do so.

And, I believe I've discovered the "root" of all of my "issues"... I've done up two different "flow-charts" to explain...

This one is of my trouble "believing God"... the ROOT is my unbelief.

(click the picture to enlarge it)

This one shows the natural consequences, were I to be "SECURE" in God's love & acceptance of me! :o)

(click the picture to enlarge it)

See the HUGE difference?? It's amazing!

In the first picture/chart, it's a self-defeating cycle... it should almost be in a circle, as it just repeats on itself.

But in the second picture/chart, there's a natural outflow of love that just keeps going forward... doesn't get "stuck" somewhere along the way. ;o)

I am praying for a heart change... for God to allow me to accept that His Word is true, even for me (maybe *especially* for me!), and for God to help me feel secure in His love & acceptance of me.